随着2019级新生的入学,哈佛大学的校报The Harvard Crimson(《哈佛深红报》)评选出了10篇新生的优秀文书作品,并附上了相应的评析。
(官网截图)
在所有申请者都和你一样拥有着绝佳的GPA/SAT成绩的时候,如何用精彩优秀的文书脱颖而出会是很让人头疼的问题。对于正在苦恼文书写作的同学,这些优秀文书范例就是参考答案般的存在了。小站君将会搬运全部10篇文书范文和评析,请各位正在准备留学申请的同学持续关注哦~
作者:Bobby 加州华裔
性别:男
GPA:4.0/4.0
SAT:2300(阅读750,数学750,写作800)
SAT II:数学Level 2,生物 生态学/分子生物学,文学
课外活动:非营利组织负责人、学生报刊主编、文学杂志高级编辑、艺术总监、校棒球队成员
获奖情况:威廉姆斯图书奖、国家奖学金获得者、AP杰出学生、学术艺术和写作奖地区金钥匙获得者
Essay正文
Bold white rafters ran overhead, bearing upon their great iron shoulders the weight of the skylight above. Late evening rays streamed through these sprawling glass panes, casting a gentle glow upon all that they graced—paper and canvases and paintbrushes alike. As day became night, the soft luminescence of the art studio gave way to a fluorescent glare, defining the clean rectilinear lines of Dillon Art Center against the encroaching darkness. It was a studio like no other. Modern. Sophisticated. Professional.
And it was clean and white and nice.
But it just wasn't .
Because to me, there was >—myself included—sat around these tables with easels, in whatever space the limited confines of the studio allowed. The instructor sometimes talked, and we sometimes listened. Most of the time, though, it was just us—children, drawing and talking and laughing and sweating in the cluttered and overheated mess of an art studio.
No, it was not so clean and not so white and not so nice. But I have drawn—rather, lived—in this studio for most of my past ten years. I suppose this is strange, as the rest of my life can best be characterized by everything the studio is not: cleanliness and order and structure. But then again, the studio was like nothing else in my life, beyond anything in which I've ever felt comfortable or at ease.
Sure, I was frustrated at first. My carefully composed sketchbooks—the proportions just right, the contrast perfected, the whiteness of the background meticulously preserved—were often marred by the frenzied strokes of my instructor's charcoal as he tried to teach me not to draw accurately, but passionately. I hated it. But thus was the fundamental gap in my artistic understanding—the difference between the surface realities that I wanted to depict, and the profound though elusive truths of the human condition that art could explore. It was the difference between drawing a man's face and using abstraction to explore his soul.
But thus was the fundamental gap in my artistic understanding—the difference between the surface realities that I wanted to depict, and the profound though elusive truths of the human condition that art could explore.
And I can't tell you exactly when or why my attitude changed, but eventually my own lines began to unabashedly disregard the rules of depth or tonality to which I had >—a realm in which I was neither experienced nor comfortable. Apart from surface manifestations altogether, this realm was simultaneously >
Indeed, it was the realm of disorder and messy studios and true art—a place where I could express the world like I saw it, in colors and strokes unrestrained by expectations or rules; a place where I could find refuge in the contours of my own chaotic lines; a place that was neither beautiful nor ideal, but real.
No, it was not so clean and not so white and not so nice.
But then again, neither is art.
深红报评析
这篇文章最突出的特点就是对意象的灵活应用。开头Bobby就用意象将读者引入文章。比如:“Late evening rays [...] casting a gentle glow” and “the soft luminescence of the art studio” becoming “a fluorescent glare.”这样的句子,读者一看就知道这篇文章是关于艺术的。尽管如此,开头还是有很多细节被有意地遗漏了。读者们苦苦搜寻细节,只为了补全Bobby描述的意象画面。其余部分,鲍比对意象的运用使他的文章栩栩如生,black fingerprints and smudges和unsoiled whiteness被用来描述他的艺术。他还用意象来说明他有组织、有类型的人物角色和他最终创造的抽象艺术之间的对比。其中一个例子是他素描本上精心设计的留白被导师炭笔疯狂的笔触所破坏。
然而,意象本身并不能提供文章中那种具体而有力的叙述。这篇文章最具吸引力之一的地方是,它代表了一个成长的故事,与成长小说的亚流派相呼应。在成长小说中,人物在心理上从青年期进化到成年期。事实上,这篇文章不仅记录了Bobby从儿童到青年的发展历程,Bobby的艺术创作也从有序的、肤浅的东西走向了抽象的、有深刻意义的东西。
然而,Bobby的文章和一个单纯写得很好的故事的区别是,它为读者提供了一种潜台词式的叙述。虽然从表面上看,Bobby的文章探讨了他的艺术的抽象性与他的生活秩序之间的对比,但同时它也反映了艺术本身的历史。就像以前的Bobby在他的速写本中the proportions just right, the contrast perfected“比例恰到好处,对比完美无缺”一样,文艺复兴时期的画家们也不知疲倦地努力掌握透视法——使艺术看起来尽可能真实。正如现在的Bobby的“lines began to unabashedly disregard the rules of depth or tonality”“线条开始肆无忌惮地无视深度或调性的规则”一样,艺术慢慢的发展也是这样——从莫奈印象派的光线处理,到毕加索立体主义的方脸和波洛克表现主义的完全抽象——艺术不是作品多贴近真实,而是传递出来的信息。用Bobby的话说,“It was the difference between drawing a man's face and using abstraction to explore his soul.”“这是画一个男人的脸和用抽象的方式探索他的灵魂之间的区别。
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